12.4.09

Cutest thing i've ever heard about ! <3;*



Okay today i was in the mood for love !

You know even though the weather kinda SUCKED because y3ny shako rain w hawa 7arr!? ;s

anyway ! i LOVE the rain i think its SO romantic !

Il mohim ! i was catching up with my friend L who just got married ! YAAAY ! ambee wallah this

girl mashallah she's SO amazing i love her 7adde ! she got married to a guy she loved ( allah

yhaneeha yarab !;* ) il mohim she was like ams i went to my friends house wehwa ga6nee

3endaha w raa7 ! a couple of hours later he called her and told her to come down stairs w when

she did she found him standing next to a brand new car holding the keys in his hands , inside the

car there were two cartier bags ! TALK ABOUT THE GREATEST GIRFT EVER!!! So she just

stood there STUNNED !! she was crying and crying nfs il habla ! lol till her scarf fell off !

He was like ' L baby 7jabech !! ' but she wasnt even listening ! kanat mtan7aa 7adhaa ! so she

went and gave him the biggest hug EVER ! she said that she always talked about how she

wanted a new car but she never gave hints it was just a normal talk ! GOD allah yhaneehaa

yaraab ! she came upstairs w all her friends were like ' SHFEEEEECH !! ' she told them what

happened while crying and everybody laughed at her ! it was the custest i swear!

Maaan i want a man like that ! * siiighhh*

Love you L allah y5aleekom 7g b3th yarab !;*

10.4.09

my beautiful disaster (LAST part)




I didn’t like what I heard .. but I was also afraid of doing anything about it .. I just stood there speechless and helpless .. I heard Faris's name and millions of thoughts crossed my mind

Is it really happening ?

Its going to end just like that ?

Is all of our hopes and dreams for a future together are going down the drain ?

Why did I ever do to 7amad ?

Why is he trying to ruin my life ?

But I still knew one thing .. I couldn’t just stand there and let them decide my life for me

So I stepped inside the room with my legs shivering

' Mama ? ..'

' Hala 7beebteee ! you're up !? shemga3dech ? degeegaa Salwa..' she said into the phone and moved it away from her ears

' Who are you talking to ?'

' 3ammetech Salwa 3endena mawthoo3 mama 9ikky il bab w 5aleeneee at7acha m3al mara I'll be down stairs in a few.. '

I looked at her with my eyes filled with tears but I couldn’t let her see.. I didn’t want anybody to see me crying..(yeah maybe I did fail in that a few times..) I promised Faris I would never shed a tear over anything in this world because nothing mattered..

Nothing mattered because WE were together..

Now what will I do without him ?


I cant imagine living without him !

Later my mom came downstairs with that pretty smile of hers

' Haaaaa shloon my Angel todaaay ? yaah yaah wana agooooool leesh il bait 9ayer a7la mn kil marra ! 7beebtee ga3daaa sh3endech il yoom mama ? kil marra matgoomeen ila il theher !'

How can I sleep when you people are trying to take away the love of my life away from me ? I thought to myself

I smiled back and instantly wanted to talk about what just happened

' Mama what was going on up there ? '

' Well.. we were having a talk..'

' Abooouuutt ?? '

' You.. honey you know you are turning into a beautiful young lady and you of all people know how some people get right ? '

' What do you mean ? '

' T3rfeen ahal oboch wayed mashallah.. w mn yoom enty 9'3eera wel kil ygool Angel this w Angel that wel kil yetmannach.. '

' Mama tara ana twnee 9'3eera .. wetha kebart abee ensan ana a5tara w merta7atlaa mo il nas eb kaifhom eyoon ! its my life right !?'

' Exactly.. that’s what I said .. enty lil7eenech bnty il 9'3eera w you always will be ! bas when the time comes 5alas troo7een w allah ywafgech ! '

' Mama mabee atzawaj mn il ahal..'

' HAW ! wenty shdarrach ? '

' Mama int it obvious ? dnt I get a say in this ? ana adree.. mama please gooleelee mara7 atzawaj a7ad yabee baba just because oho yabee please!! '

' Yumma w mn gal you will ? bas oho y3ny be9eer fa shel moshkila ? enty akeed bna5eth rayech y3ny shno sh'chayfatna ?'

' Wetha ana mabee mama shno tzawjoonee yah '3a9eb !? '

' La2 6ab3an mako shay '3a9eb bas..'

' Bas baba mara7 yegdar ygool la2 la2anna 3aib sa7 !!? la2anna may9eer ygool la2 7g il nas wel reyayeel ! wallah bnty matabee waladkom ? '

' Mama 7beebtee b3d hatha shay gesma w ne9eeb ! etha la2 y3ny la2 5ala9 allah ywafga w ywafgech ! '


' Mama why don’t you like Faris ? ' I couldn’t believe I just said that out of the blue , but I had an erg to say it

' Whaat !? ' and laughed at me ' who said I didn’t mama lesh meskeen shsawalee ? '

' La bas as2al.. mama oho kalam 3amety Salwa 9a7 ? '


' Hmmm guess tdreen b3d ? yes he did..'

' Annd ? '

' And what !? shtabeenee agoolich ? mama Faris 7alta '3air .. Faris oma w obo m6alegeen .. w 3ayesh 3nd obooh wahala.. Bnfs il bait ele fe 3ametech Salwa.. il walad zain w she7leelaa bas sh7agga tyeebeelich 3awar il ras wel athiyya ? aked oma matabee a7ad mn hal 3ayla ele 5aloohaa w she wants NOTHING to do with us .. lesh t5aleen ele shareech w ahala yaboonich we7na kilna ahal 7g el meskeen ele gam y3adel il wath3 bain oma w obooh ? '

Faris once told me that his mom and dad got divorced a long time ago.. and he decided to live with his dad while his younger brother and sister stayed with their mom , his mom was never happy with his decision and she called him and hurt his feelings lots of times.. I know what you're thinking what kind of mother does that right ? bas she does love her son.. but she was very hurt and mad that he left her for his dad ..and whats even worse is that he's living with his DADS' family not hers.. and I was sure she would pick one of the girls from HER side of the family to marry her son and NOT me ..

' Shfeech sakta yumma ? 5alich mn hal salfa enty al7een te5arrejay w yseer 5air.. bas ana gitlich.. il ray rayech we7na mara7 na'39ebech 3la shay matabeenaa..'

' Mama 5aleeha 3alallah ..' My mom laughed at me so hard when she heard me say that..

' 9ij bnt obooooch ! ' This was my dads' favorite word ,whenever things got messed up he would say that

I knew the chances were very low of me being with Faris.. but at least I had some hope..


After that talk with my mom I felt secure and safe.. things wernt TOTALLy bad.. everythings gonna turn out okay.. at least I hope it does !

Later that night I called Faris and of course I was telling him what had happened that day..

' Hmmm that’s great 7yaty am glad..' but I knew something was wrong

' baby shfeek ? mo mestanes ?'


' bala 7yaty shloon mo mestanes gooleeleee shloon ? '

' Gooleee Faris..'

' Hmmm… I talked to my mom today..'

' adree la tkammil..'

' Shdarrach shbagool ? '

' Ana adree 5alas babe hatha shay 6abee3ee matabeek ta5ethnee ! shay 6abee3ee il mara ehya ele betzawej waladha 3la kaifha ! w ta36eeh il bnt ele EHYA te5tarha ! and that girl wont be me will it ?'

' Angel shal 7achee? 7yaty omy mat3arfech 3shan ta7kem ! w mithil ma ana 7abaitech she will too ! once she sees you she's gonna fall in love with you just like I did ! and you're gonna love her too ! I swear shes an amazing person , she's an interior designer and she has her own magazine not to mention she's a great cook ! '

I smiled , I loved how he loved his mom and how he talked so pationatly about her..


' You're so cute you know that ? '

' leeesh ? '

' Haw fe a7ad ygooloolaaa you're cute ygool leesh !? '

' Ana rayyal shno cute !!? bas e77m 3adee ashwa inny cute 3endech..'


' Hhhhhh enta tara mynoon w myannenny ma3ak ! '


' Adree 5aleetich t6e7een eb 7obeee mo ? you cant get out now '

' Chub Faris !! '

' Enshallah..' it wasn’t him being a 5aroof it was just him being cute and respectful..


Days and nights passed and our challenge for being together forever grew bigger and bigger with each day.. but our love grew along with it.. we were inseparable.. we were so in love that NOTHING and I mean NOTHING could have torn us apart..


Not if..


' Laa oho bas t9eer hal sowalif.. ana me7terem il rayyal ! w hal sowalif adreee t9eer 7ata bain il ahal as m9a5at il salfa wana t3rfeenee 3a9abee ! magdar at7ammal ! '

Lo allah yfeknee mn hal convos ele I over hear chan zain !!


If you were wondering what my dad was talking about it was my uncle Jassem.. Faris's uncle.. they had a huge fight and things weren’t the same anymore.. now I know a lot of family fights happen .. and people eventually calm down.. but things weren’t the same.. they just weren't !

As that fight continued , my horrible thoughts about me and Faris started getting to me .. Then for the FIRST time in YEARS me and Faris started fighting.. not because of what me of him did.. but because of what other people were doing and it was effecting us and our relationship..


Till the day I realized I do NOT live in La La land..

There are no rainbows…

There are no pink bunnies everywhere…

No cotton candy clouds..

Just plain cruel REALITY

Me and Faris lost our chances of being together..


We were FORCED to leave each other

Maybe not because of the people.. but because of he love and respect we had for one another..

Because we didn’t want anyone to get hurt..

I didn’t want to see my dad reject him when he came for me

And I didn’t want to have to tell him that I have to leave him because I was getting married or whatever..

The whole ' I have to leave you ' conversation just wasn’t easy to any of us

There wasn’t a fight , there weren't any harsh words ..

There was just goodbye..


Faris still asks my aunt Salwa about me..


He still asks if i was happy , or ever got married..


He still rembers my birthday and tells my aunt Salwa to wish me a happy one



I never saw him again ..


Never heard his voice ever again..


Last i heard he moved to his moms house because they needed a man there..


I guess my aunt H7M7was right when she said that when I left him sooner it would be EASIER for us to move on.. maybe it did a little yeah..


But our love only got stronger and stronger..


After those 4 incredible years of my life ..

I learned how to love..

I learned how it feels to be loved

And I also learned how it feels to have lost..


But you know what they say !

Better that you loved and lost than never loved at all..


And GOD I loved that silly boy with big brown eyes !

I never forgot him.. not ONCE did I stop thinking about him , not once did I stop loving him

I didn’t want to talk about my Romeo and Juliet story because I would start crying again.. when I promised Faris I wouldn’t..

We left each other.. but I knew he loved me..

That’s all I needed to know

I had to admit during some of these posts I dropped a tear or two..

But remembering him got me through anything and everything..

I don’t want to forget the amazing people in my life that got me through this..
Thank you for always being there when I cried and cried

Thank you for listening to me when I talked and whined though it seemed ENDLESS

Thank you for caring about me and loving me

My cousies !;* thanks for always being there to talk and listen to me and make me laugh

My best friends !;* thanks for loving me and encouraging me

My family !;* thanks for being so loud , big and great

My H7m7 !;* thanks for being a best friend and an aunt and for talking some sense into me

My prince and my Faris ;'* I loved you and I'll never stop

My readers!;*

Remember if you love someone just tell them ! try to be with them no matter what! Maybe fate will take some weird twist after all..

If fate didn’t do that for me , then maybe it will for you my lovely readers ..

Best luck to all of you lovers out there ;*

As long as its honest and pure..

Thank you all for reading this beautiful disaster of mine ..


I hope you enjoyed it

Till my next post !

;*